New Englanders

My grandmother forwarded this to me and I thought my New England audience might enjoy it. It actually makes me miss New England!

Forget Red necks .......here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about New Englanders...
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in New England.
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in New England.
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in New England.
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in New England.
If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of New York City for the weekend, you live in New England.
If you measure distance in hours, you live in New England.
If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in New England.
If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in New England.
If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you live in New England.
If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in New England.
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in New England.
If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you live in New England.
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in New England.
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you live in New England.
If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in New England.
If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly', you live in New England.
If there's a Dunkin Donuts on every corner, you live in New England.
If you place your sodas on the porch to stay cold you live in New England.
If you drive behind snow plows 7 months out of 12 you live in New England.
If you plan to go to Cape Cod for a Sunday ride on the weekend, you wait for three hours to get on Cape Cod and four to get off. You only spent an hour on the Cape then you live in New England.
You drive a new car to Boston and when you get home you have $3,000 in damage to your car and you weren't in a accident. You live in New England.